Just a tip

At a job interview, when asked a question, don't start your answers with "Listen, bitch..."

Yup. I'm here to help.

I'm weird.

Is it strange that my knee-jerk reaction to anything is to actually jerk my knee?

Damn robots.

Oh, they're cute now. But just you wait until one of them has a bad program and decides to kill its human masters. How cute are they now, huh?

Check this out ---->***CLICK HERE***<---

Don't piss me off

OK, world. I've said this before, and I reiterate - LEARN HOW TO SPELL "DEFINITELY"! IT IS NOT SPELLED "DEFINATELY", YOU RETARDS!!!

And again...

The pon farr is back, folks.

Yeah.

Plague

What's next? Fish flu?

Another phone blog from me.

Another phone blog from me. cuz i'm bored.

I've said it before...

...and I'll say it again.

I've heard people say things like "Have you tasted that cake? It's better than sex!"

You know what? It's NOT. Not possible at all. You know why? Because NOTHING is better than sex. Oh, wait, there is one thing...MORE SEX.

If you think a dessert is better than sex, you have a terrible sex life.

I have tasted some pretty damn good desserts, but I have NEVER tasted a dessert and thought, "Man, this is so good, I'm going to stop fucking."

Today's IM conversation

This makes no sense. Not even to me. And I started it.

Remember, I was at work when this happened.

M: hi kennedy
kabasares: So, like, dude.
Kabasares: It's totally, like, you know.
Kabasares: And shit like that.
M: totally
kabasares: Yeah. You know it.
Kabasares: Sometimes I'm all, "Dude,"
Kabasares: but sometimes I'm like "duuuuuuude."
Kabasares: Knowwhutimean?
M: nahmean, dood
Kabasares: Sometimes I'm all "Dude? C'mon, dude!"
M: sweeeet
Kabasares: werd.
Kabasares: Sometimes I'm all "Whatever," but sometimes I'm like "fuck yeah!"
M: boo yeah!!
Kabasares: It's so fuckin punk rock.
M: rock on

This is why I am not a rap artist.

Good evening, y'all.
I'd like everyone to put their hands in the air.
Great.
Now, I'd like everyone to wave them, as if they did not care.
OK?
Wave them, as I am doing now, OK?
Could everyone please holler?
Good.

American Ingenuity

Leave it to Americans to make the road to alcoholism faster and more efficient.

http://turbotap.com/Products/

Their slogan should read "For people who can't get drunk fast enough."

I'm a dork

I'm a dork, and it has EVERYTHING to do with me forgetting to set my VCR.

A brief political message

My name is Kennedy Kabasares, and I approve that ass.

My first phone blog

i'm such a gadget geek.

Believe it

D@ve N@varro has a great song called "Rex@ll." In it, he sings a line that says "I want the life you think I have."

That's me in a nutshell.

Once again...

No. I can’t believe it.

No, stop trying to convince me.

OK, you’re telling me that this is NOT butter, right? Well, you know what? BULLSHIT.

No, I will not calm down! You’re just going to sit there, look me in the eye and tell me that this rich, creamy substance is NOT butter? Well, then, FUCK YOU.

DON’T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!

Bitch, look at my English muffin! What is that melting on top of it? No, it is NOT a “butter-flavored vegetable oil spread,” you fucking jackhole! It is BUTTER. NO, I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! YOU CALM DOWN!

No, fuck that! You can go home to your shitty fucking margarine, or whatever the fuck you put on your corn-on-the-cob, but I am eating BUTTER.

Motherfucker, you wanna die? Bitch, you wanna step, cuz I’ll fucking step right now. THIS IS BUTTER. And if you tell me one more time, I’m gonna fucking stab you in the kidney.

Go ahead, tell me it's not butter. Go ahead, motherfucker, try me!

No, fuck our friendship! I WILL NOT TAKE IT EASY! This is fucking BUTTER, and if you fucking tell me it’s NOT, I will not hesitate to KICK YOUR DICK OFF!

One guy...

Thanks, TM, for giving me a "K." You rock.

The rest of y'all can kiss it.

WHO'S A SEXY MOTHERF***ER?