Beat this, bitches!

On Friday night, I bumped into Stephen Hawking.  So all y'all can suck it.

I was just thinkin...

Do people still throw Mary Kay Cosmetics parties?  And could I be invited?  Cuz I think that would be a great place to introduce the idea of an orgy.

Cuz I'm like that.

This afternoon (Sunday) I was walking past the Marc Jacobs store in San Francisco, and there was this guy in a skunk costume in the display window.

So this happened...

because I'm a big retard.

I must note that the skunk wasn't very enthused about me being there. It wasn't very jovial or particularly animated. Which makes me even more retarded.

It's my blog.

I've been really gassy these past couple of days. And by gassy, I mean I've been farting a lot. YES, you needed to know that. NO, it is not way too much information. In fact, it is exactly the right amount of information you need to know at this very moment in time.

This is my blog.

Enjoy it.

Add this to your list

Something you will never, ever hear:

"Do you know who I am? I'M DEEPAK CHOPRA, BITCH!"

Never.