Dear news editors,

I'm sick of the articles with the headlines that read "A list of [foods/books/movies/interesting people/activities] you've never [heard of/read/seen/done]".

I've NEVER heard of? Excuse me, but, fuck you, how do YOU know what I know? How condescending of you to say I don't know what you're about to tell me. So, you're saying that none of the readers have EVER heard of this stuff before you did? Oh, yeah. You're the FIRST ONE EVER to introduce us to these facts. You're the first one ever who's seen this movie, read these books, heard of these people. And the rest of us were retarded peons living in stupidity until you came along. Are we supposed to feel stupid that we don't know what you're about to tell us? It's like you're saying "You should be thankful I'm telling you this or else you'd go through life being a freaking idiot." Fuck you. FUCK YOU, EDITORS AND/OR REPORTERS. YOU ARE NOT THAT SMART.

How do YOU know I haven't read that book, or heard of that person? How do you know that I'm not already doing the exercise or eating that healthy food? You DON'T. You just assume.

And you know what happens when we assume.

Or maybe you've never heard of that saying.