I like the puddin.

P.S.
Not the dessert kind.

P.P.S.
Yes, that's what I mean.

P.P.P.S.
It's the pon farr.

Re-interpreting my history
I used to say that I was never cool in high school. Now I say that I was way cool in high school. It's just that no one was paying attention.

It's been so long
And I've been putting out the fire
With gasoline
- David Bowie

A typical internet chat between me and my brother
Me: Hey.
Bro: hey
Me: You get married yet?
Bro: yeah we got married on Friday.
Me: Oh. Congratulations.
Me: So is she taking your name or keeping hers?
Bro: Thank you. She is keeping hers. She's had it for so long. I don't care.
Me: Makes sense.

Fuck. Static trapeze is alot like ballet on a trapeze bar. And ballet is fucking TOUGH. So imagine doing ballet while balancing on top of a bar AND THEN hanging below a bar. Fuck.

OK, here it is, on the toughness scale...

1) ballet
2) martial arts
3) football

I like getting into my car and seeing cat footprints on the windshield. I like it even more when the cat footprints skid, like the cat slipped on his way up.

Yeah, it's the simple things, ain't it?

I think women in underwear are sexier than nude women. Bikinis don't count.

I'm telling you, pon farr.

I love chocolate. I love it a LOT. Love it, love it, love it. BUT, no matter what anyone says, chocolate is not, never has, and never will be better than sex. Except for bad sex, but I'm not counting bad sex. I'd rather have good sex than great chocolate.

Dude, it's the pon farr.

Today's Conversation

Friend: What can you tell me about her that I don't already know?
Kabasares: She's a cyborg sent from the future to destroy the human race.
Friend: oh...
Kabasares: So don't let on.
Friend: ok... will do.
Kabasares: And be nice to machines when you're around her.
Friend: like the soda vending machine?
Kabasares: Yes. Don't hit it.
Kabasares: And don't go near any large magnets.
Friend: why?
Kabasares: She might get stuck to them.
Kabasares You know, metallic skeleton and all.
Friend: oh!!
Kabasares: And don't get all weird if she says "I need a pickup" and she sticks her finger in a socket.
Friend: ??????
Kabasares: Just dont get all weird.
Kabasares: THe fate of the human race is in your hands.
Friend: I don't know if I can do this.
Kabasares: Look, you're all set. You're a nice guy, she's got a titanium skull. It'll be fine.

It's Contagious
So my friend T met this cute lawyer, and she thought "Oh, I should introduce her to Kennedy." In the course of their conversation, she found out the the lawyer was married.

The cycle continues.

OK, new law written by Kennedy - no married people, recently divorced or dis-engaged. I have spoken.

Tip for the day (that I learned yesterday)
Don't eat anything for at least an hour before a solo trapeze class.

If I had just three wishes for today, they would be:

1) More sleep.
2) I'd like to- ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Moratorium
OK, I propose a moratorium on all freindster requests. No more friendsters. Jumping Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, stop emailing me to be your friend! I hate you! I have 32 goddamn friends and that is WAY more than enough! I'm connected to like a gagillion people! I'm connected to a german shepard in Nairobi, for chrissakes! STOP IT! YOU ARE NOT MY FRIENDS!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW MY FAVORITE DESSERT? NO YOU DON'T, SO FUCK OFF!!!

Nobody touch me. I'm going through pon farr.

It's Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. I'm sick as a dog. I've got a show tomorrow. Man, when it rains, it pours.

Monkeypox is a scary and terrible disease. But hey, it sounds funny, doesn't it?

Today's conversation
Kabasares : Are you making the moves on [name witheld]?;-);-);-)
Some other guy : yes.
Kabasares : Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!!!!
Some other guy : What?
Kabasares : Hee hee hee heee hee hee heee heeee hee hee hee hee
Some other guy : You have to keep this a secret.
Kabasares : hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
Kabasares : hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
Some other guy : HEY!!
Kabasares : :-D
Kabasares : :-*
Kabasares : :-p
Some other guy : HEY!!!
Kabasares : :-Dhee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
Some other guy : STOP!!!
Some other guy : :-D
Kabasares : Oooooooooh!!! Wooooooo hooooooooo!!!!
Kabasares : Hooo hoooooooooooooo!
Some other guy : :-p
Kabasares : Ah. Ok. I got it out of my system now.
Some other guy : Good!
Some other guy : Not A Word!!!
Kabasares : Wait...no, not yet...Hee hee hee ha ha ha!!! Wooo hoo! Hee heee heeeeeeeee!
Kabasares : Woooooooo hooooooooooooooo! Hubba hubba!!
Some other guy : STOP!!!!!!
Kabasares : Hee hee hee haa haa haa ho ho ho ho ho ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
Kabasares : Ok, ok. I think I'm done now.
Kabasares : Wait...
Kabasares : No, I'm done.

Self fullfilling prophecy begins NOW
I am a heartthrob no matter what my hair looks like or what I wear, and women have catfights over me.

And, on a totally different note...I've been fighting this cold thingy for the last couple of weeks, and today I woke up with a sore throat. I hate the cold thingy! Hate it! Hate it! Stupid cold thingy.

A strange fantasy
I'd like a naked woman to accidentaly slip off the edge of my bed (not hurting herself, of course). I'd hear the slight "thud," and then think, "Yep, there's a naked woman in my room."

So, like, if I was a heartthrob, I'd be the type that, five years from now, women would look back at and say "Woah, why the hell did we think he was so cute?"

This may reveal something about my IQ...
I don't get high, but the things people laugh at when they're high are the things I laugh at normally.

Happy Thought of the Day:
If you took all the women I've had a crush on and put them in one room...well...that would be a really pretty room. And it would make me blush. And I'm not going to tell you who would be in that room either, so forget it.

Bad Thought of the Day
If you have not had quality conversations with me, or if I do not see you on a regular basis, then DO NOT REQUEST TO BE MY FRIEND ON FRIENDSTER. Sick of that shit, man.

The most rock and roll thing I've done in the last 24 hours
Drive through the Arizona desert while the sun was setting, in a rented black Mustang convertible with the top down, singing along to Lita Ford's "Kiss Me Deadly" on the car stereo. I am so f*ucking rock and roll.

Last night, as I was falling asleep, I was hit with an insightful, almost transcendental revelation, almost an epiphany. I was going to write it down but instead, I said "Nah, I'll remember it in the morning."

Yeah, right.

Things that are always funny to me
- Nuns
- The word "pants"
- Pratfalls
- Spit takes
- Well-timed fart noises
- Animals that repeat the same action for no apparent reason (jumping in place, spinning, etc.)
- Cats who forget to put their tongues back in their mouths
- When jackets (or other clothing) get stuck in a door, on furniture, etc., and yank the person back
- When physics is thrown into a mundane conversation
- When ice cream falls off the cone

The Story Of My Life (if it were told by my friend, ES)
So there's this girl, right? And she's married. The end.

I would like to let everyone know that I made it to the Morning Job® on time, and I am not naked. Wait...let me check...No, I am not naked.

It's really unnecessary for you to know that it's 1:40am, and it's been the first time I've been drunk in months, and I'm in my underwear right now.

I'm not making excuses. There is no reason for you to know this, but I was at 2 simultaneous parties at the same place. I got drunk in front of many people whom I have much respect for. I was dressed like a male ho. Yet, for some reason, these people still see me as OK. I hide my drunkedness really well, which is sometimes scary. I'm amazed I'm spelling these words.

I have to be at work really early tomorrow morning. I have an audition tomorrow afternoon. And I'm typing this in my underwear. Don't look.

I DID IT!!! I GOT A COMMENT THINGY FOR MY BLOG!!!!! YOU CAN COMMENT ON MY BLOG NOW!!!! HOO-FUCKING-RAY!!!!! okay, that means you guys had better use it or I'll get pissed off.

Say what you will about Sisqu0, but I think he is a true artist, because whenever he sings the line "Let me see your thong," I really believe he wants to see someone's thong. But I don't think he specifies that you have to be wearing it at the time. It could be sitting in a dresser.