My tummy has been acting weird whenever I eat large batches of meat. Maybe it's because I don't eat in big batches throught the day. I usually eat many small batches. Anyhoo, my tummy feels weird.

P.S.
I got a cool haircut. Even though I think I look like a bottle brush.

You know, I get bored too, but never to this extreme!

You know what rocks right now? You know what rocks like a motherfucker? Yahoo mail expanded its mailbox to 100MB! For free! C'mon, I dare you to tell me what rocks more than that right now! I double dare you! Just try! You can't, can you!

I cannot possibly eat any more food this week. I just can't.

So, what's your collection?
Yeah, people collect things. I don't know why. Where the hell does it come from? Maybe it goes back to our hunter/gatherer days, when we'd hoard nuts and berries and crap like that. And we still have it in our genes, so we gotta do it.

When we're kids, it starts out small, like dolls, comics, toys (I still find myself buying stupid little toys once in a while, just cuz they're so darn neat). As we get older, the collections become bigger too, like cars, houses, boats, statues, and paintings. I would probably collect photographs or motorcycles, if I wasn't so darn strapped for cash. Motorcycles get me going like no one's business.

But for many, our collections have to do with accessories. Some people (both men and women) buy all kinds of shoes. Not me. I buy a couple of shoes I like and I rotate the hell out of them.

But I do have two accessory fetishes. I love backpacks/man purses. I don't know why. I can only use one at a time, but heck, show me a cool backpack and I can drool. I like the idea that I've got everything I need in my handy satchel, like Felix the Cat and his bag of tricks. A utility belt, of sorts, but not as goofy looking. As long as I don't look like a tourist, I can hang with a nice backpack.

Also, I love watches. The weird thing, though, is that I don't like wearing watches. I usually end up banging it on the car door, or against the wall, or something. And I get that weird watch tan which I think looks gross. I usually end up hanging a watch off my belt loop or aforementioned backpack/man purse.

I love stylish or practical watches. If they're both stylish and practical, that makes it even better. I have a sports watch that has a digital compass, thermometer/barometer, and altimiter. The thermometer is cool, but doesn't take into account your skin temperature, so you have to take it off to get an accurate measurement. And who the hell uses a barometer unless you're the weather guy? But it looks reasonably cool. I like it.

One purchase need I am embarassed to admit is condoms. Oh, I'm not embarassed about buying them. It's just that I buy them for fun, just to have. I like condoms. I mean, I like using them (if I ever get the chance to), but I'll buy them just because, you know? Not the regular ones, but neat sounding ones. Ones that have really seductive descriptions. Durex and Trojan have the coolest names and descriptions. Sometimes I just buy them because of the way they're described. I'll buy a box just cuz it sounds so good. Maybe having a collection gives me the illusion of having an active sex life. But that's another story.

So, check this out. Monday was my birthday. The Morning Job® took me out to the Standard for a lunch (steak sandwich! Yay!). Then chocolate cake at Afternoon Job®. Then off to Palms Thai for tons of Thai food. Yesterday I ate the other half of my steak sandwich. I was so full from the last two days that I COULDN'T EAT THE TONS OF BARBECUE THAT CAME TO THE OFFICE LAST NIGHT!!! How can people eat like that?!? I don't get it!

I hope they saved some barbecue for me. =(

The human body is an incredible machine, ain't it? For example, scent is an incredible memory trigger. This morning at the Morning Job® I went to the restroom and washed my hands. The scent of the liquid soap brought back memories of childhood, especially grade school. Immediately images of green sweaters, school uniforms, new textbooks, classrooms, school desks and foggy mornings overwhelmed me, all in a matter of seconds.

Awesome, ain't it?

I had no emails this morning. That makes me sad.

Prince is one brilliant motherfucker. How does all that talent, energy, and musical brilliance fit into such a small person?

Fucking brilliant, man.

Guess what?
I get to go to the Prince concert tonight. That kicks all available asses in the immediate vicinity.

I'll let you know how it goes. It will probably be awesome.

Who am I kidding. It WILL be awesome.

By the way, the full moon is making me act sleep-walky. And I'm pretty gassy right now. But I don't think that has to do with the moon. It may have to do with the variety of snacks I had today. I'm not sure.

But enough about my gas. Did I mention I'm going to the Prince concert?