Trends, my aching body, and stupid self-help tricks

I don't consider myself a trendy person. In fact, I think I am a downward-trendy person. I pick up on trends when they stop being trendy. And it's unintentional. I shop at R0ss and shoe outlets for cheap stuff, and inadvertantly pick out things that were cool two or three years ago. I guess you can say I hop on the bandwagon when everyone else has bailed because it lost its brakes and is headed towards a brick wall covered in burning razor wire and acid. Oh, except for the ip0d. I'm all up in that shit like you won't belive.

Anyway, maybe this is showing my age, but last night a friend showed us dance moves from M!chael J@ckson's "Thr!ller" and "Be@t it!" videos. I enjoyed learning those moves. Not in a campy, mocking way, either. I REALLY ENJOYED LEARNING THEM. And I felt super cool, like "I'll kick your sorry ass if you think this ain't the shit." I was SOOOO into the moves.

So now my neck hurts. MJ does a lot of head jerks.

But anyways, so I was at a party tonight where there was a swimmin pool. So I swims around and hang out in the jacuzzi (relaxing the neck), when I had one of those moments where I'm surrounded by couples, and I'm the only single person in the immediate vicinity (jacuzzi), and I don't want to draw attention to my non couple-ness, because, I dunno, sometimes it feels weird to be the only single person in a group of couples ("LOOK AT THE FREAK!!!"). But I don't want to up and walk away, because everyone would look at the single guy walking away from all the couples and they'd just KNOW, you know? But I can't just sit there. But if I speak up and join a conversation, they'll think, "Oh, yeah, the single guy has a point there," and I don't want to be the single guy making a point, I'd rather be the happily coupled person making a point. So now I have to make a choice to either evaporate and re-solidify in another part of the house, or pee in the jaccuzzi and blame it on that guy over there, thus taking this overwhelming pressure off me. I'm not going to say what I did, but I'm going to lie and say that my exit was breathtaking.

Anyways, my point is this: if you are feeling less than up-to-par, look yourself in the mirror and say, "Damn, you are one sexy and amazing motherfucker."

That helps make things much better.

It won't take the pee out of the jaccuzzi, but trust me, it makes things better.