It's the simple things, really.

My kitchen sink has been slow draining for the last few months. Yeah, I said months. I tried all the chemical things you pour down sinks to dislodge whatever is in there. And I didn't want to call the manager because I am a man and can fix things all by myself, until I decide I have done everything I possibly could.

Anyway, it was at the point that after I washed the dishes, I would check my email, then go downstairs and check my real mail, come back, and the sink STILL wouldn't be drained.

My last resort would have been sticking a firecracker or large explosive down the sink, but there are a bunch of senior citizens living in my building, and I would not want to scare them into whatever happens to seniors when they get scared. So instead, I got a small, teeny tiny hand plunger (it looks like a regular plunger but it's less than a foot tall), and violently plunged away like a plunging madman. The sink made some weird, sickly gurgly noises, and up from the drain came this black, silty, oily goo-type stuff that I couldn't identify. It looked like motor oil. But before I could examine it further, the drain sucked it back in, and the water receded in a normal fashion.

I don't remember ever putting any oily-black substance down the drain, but now the sink works and I am the happiest boy in all the land.

The end. How was your day?