You have no right to judge me.

I don't care what anyone thinks, I LIKE watching the Teletubbies.

And I can kick your ass.

It's the simple things, really.

My kitchen sink has been slow draining for the last few months. Yeah, I said months. I tried all the chemical things you pour down sinks to dislodge whatever is in there. And I didn't want to call the manager because I am a man and can fix things all by myself, until I decide I have done everything I possibly could.

Anyway, it was at the point that after I washed the dishes, I would check my email, then go downstairs and check my real mail, come back, and the sink STILL wouldn't be drained.

My last resort would have been sticking a firecracker or large explosive down the sink, but there are a bunch of senior citizens living in my building, and I would not want to scare them into whatever happens to seniors when they get scared. So instead, I got a small, teeny tiny hand plunger (it looks like a regular plunger but it's less than a foot tall), and violently plunged away like a plunging madman. The sink made some weird, sickly gurgly noises, and up from the drain came this black, silty, oily goo-type stuff that I couldn't identify. It looked like motor oil. But before I could examine it further, the drain sucked it back in, and the water receded in a normal fashion.

I don't remember ever putting any oily-black substance down the drain, but now the sink works and I am the happiest boy in all the land.

The end. How was your day?

Bored yet creative

I'm probably going to get investigated for this sign. Anyway, I made it at http://www.curchsigngenerator.com
You can make one too.



 

I just wanna say...

My girlfriend KICKS ASS!

Don't make me...

You know, folks, I have a "comments" section on my blog for a reason, you know. When people don't leave comments, I cry. I cry, and a rainforest gets killed. And the polar ice caps melt faster. And the hole in the ozone layer gets bigger.

So, for the love of all life on the planet, please leave a comment.

They're just speeding up the inevitable machine revolution.

You all may be saying I'm just crying wolf around here, but...

*CLICK HERE*

25 years from now, when the robots are covered in human blood, holding one of our severed heads high with one of their robot claws and claiming victory for the machines, I don't want to be the one saying "I told you so."

You'd better keep an eye on Mr. Tin and remember where his "off" switch is.

My forces are growing...

OK, so I know how to hypnotize lizards and chickens. Now, meet the next weapon in my personal hypnotized army...

-->CLICK HERE<--