Oh, the pain...
I just found out that "ABC World News Now" anchorwoman Liz Cho is married. The world is unfair and I want to kill myself.

When the DSL lines are slow, I'd like to think that the connection is "sleepy," and the only way to remedy it is to slap the shit out of my computer, then throw a glass of water at the screen.

Then I get fired.

So I burned a "get in the mood" CD. I'm not currently seeing anyone, but I just burned it. I call it wishful thinking. A friend of mine said that I should think of it as getting ready, preparing myself for the inevitability of dating someone.

In that case, I'd better clean out my car.

So I hang out at this brewery, and every few months they show art from different artists. This month there's this person who's obviously influenced by cartoons/comics, because the paintings have this comic book-ish feel to it. Any-hoo, there's this painting of a girl's face framed in red, and I thought, "Yeah, I'd buy that." So I asked the manager for a price list. Most of the paintings ran from $200-$300. That particular painting of the girl I wanted? NOT AVAILABLE. STORY OF MY LIFE. THAT PAINTING'S PROBABLY MARRIED.

Wow. Last night (with the help of a female friend), I approached a woman at a bar. Wow. No sparks though, nothing exciting. We talked. Nothing special happened. Maybe next time I shouldn't stammer or say "oh gee" too much.

Okay, sometimes I'm a fucking dumbass. No, I'm not going to explain myself. I just want to let the world know that sometimes I am. I mean, we all feel like dumbasses at one time or another, right? Okay, then. Today, I feel like one. So there.

No wonder why people think I'm weird (part 3)
Don't you hate it when, you know? And then you realize a bunch of shit? And then you think "Damn."

Yeah, you know what I mean.

Any excuse to get out of the office is a good one. One of my favorites is "I have to go outside and find my dignity."

THINGS I LOVE
(in no particular order, is still an incomplete list, and will probably be added to in the future)
Sleep, women, chocolate, ice cream, sex, sex involving chocolate ice cream, sleeping after great sex that involves chocolate ice cream, work boots, watches (although I never wear them), video games, animals, warm nights, motorcycles, rain, meteor showers, long showers, back rubs, Cocteau's "Beauty and the Beast," "Run, Lola, Run," "Bladerunner," "East of Eden," "Mulholland Drive," "Deuce Bigolow, Male Gigolo," hot dogs, big beds, lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, Hagedorn's "Dogeaters," Alibata/Baybayin, the color blue, winter, deserts, travel, soup, grilled cheese sandwiches, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

to be continued...

So I went to the Arclight Cinema (or Cinerama Dome) to watch "Minority Report" (okay movie...not great, but good). I went to the concession stand to get a hot dog. They didn't have hot dogs at the counter. They had some kind of "gourmet sausage"-type thing. I had a choice they had 3 kinds, I think. I chose the chicken/pesto (or something like that) sausage. I also had a choice of "topping," either honey mustard or barbecue something or other. Wow.

"What ever happened to hot dogs?" I asked the guy.

"We're trying to expand our selection" he said.

They still sold candy and pop corn and cokes (at prices that make you feel like you're in Tokyo), but I guess hot dogs are not the thing any more. Can't they just have regular crappy unhealthy hot dogs for everyday shmoes like me?

I'm Losing It
I'm losing my mind. I'd rather be asleep right now. Maybe I have a sleepy disease. Would that necessarily be a bad thing? I mean, who the hell doesn't like sleep? I love sleep! Sleep fuckin' ROCKS!! Sleep KICKS ASS!! Maybe that'll be my new t-shirt...it'll say "Sleep fuckin' KICKS ALL ASS, motherfuckers! And if you don't like sleep, then you're fuckin STUPID!" Or something like that. Maybe you'd need a bigger t-shirt.

Oh, and I have a zit right above my upper lip. Weird. I hardly get zits, and I don't think I've gotten one right there before. Hmm.

P.S.
Sleep kicks ass.

The really cool news...Yesterday I didn't have to go to Morning Job, so I slept in...for 9 hours!!!

The sad news...9 hours wasn't enough.

Die dulci fruere, everyone.

So, what have YOU been up to this summer?
Oh, you know, the usual:
- Working
- Auditioning
- Flirting with women who I later find out are married.
You know, same 'ol, same 'ol.

Life is fleeting, ethereal, mercurial. Time slips through our fingers. Time flies so quickly. Enjoy what you have, for you never know when it will be gone.

Shit, I'd better get some ice cream.

Went to the Standard Downtown last night. Hmmm. The first time I ever stood in line to get into a bar. Kinda hollywood-ish. but inside, well, actually, on the roof, it was pretty damn cool. And the people were an interesting mix. there were some (but not many) hollywood types. The rest were just young hip people hanging out. That would be okay, I guess, except that a 7-up cost $7. I guess if I ever decide to go back there, I will bring a flask and fill it with my own damn drink.

HOT DAMN, I LOVE WOMEN!!!! God bless hot weather...

NO WONDER WHY PEOPLE THINK I'M WEIRD pt.2

I think "The Development of Modern Cheese" would be a great title for a book.

NO WONDER WHY PEOPLE THINK I'M WEIRD
I was really sleepy tonight and was watching PBS. I was half asleep. There was a Nova special on shark attacks. Then there was a reality-tv type thing about the Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago. In my sleepy-zoned state, I thought, now THAT would be a great network show..."SHARK HOSPITAL." It would be a hospital in some big city, like Chicago, but for sharks. There would be drama in there all the time. Maybe an injured human would rush into the ER with a gunshot wound or something, and the doctor would say, "Sorry, sir, we can't help you. You're not a shark."

Oh, yes, I'm a genius. I'm ready for my Emmy.

It's been really, really hot these last two days. One thing I hate in this world (other than racism...and rasins in my salad...or is it racism in my salad?...I keep forgetting) is getting into a HOT CAR that's been sitting in the sun forever. Unfortunately, I do not have a carport/garage for my car, so sometimes it sits out in the sun, and getting into the car is like getting into HELL ITSELF.

I hate trying to drive with a hot steering wheel, so I got one of those neoprene steering wheel cover things that make it so much more bearable when grabbing the wheel. And since I have no garage, I fear that all that sun and heat will really fuck up the interior and dry and crack it before its time. And the paint will fade, I just know it. I'm not really that car-vain, but it's my only transportation and I wanna make sure it lasts like...oh, FOREVER. I'm one of those people who like to get the most use out of their stuff. I have shirts that are real old, but they're still pretty decent looking, so I keep wearing them. Yeah, the cuffs get kinda worn out, but other than that, its age is hardly noticeable.

On a completely different note...I knew my natural sleep pattern would catch up to me, and today it did. I out-slept my snooze. My alarm was not enough to get me up this morning. I woke up 45 minutes late for work. I called in, and T said "it's really dead over here anyway, so you don't have to come in." YEE-HA!!! So not only was I well rested, I had a free morning! I cleaned up, did laundry, went to my agent's office, and got some car stuff. Hooray for me! You see, sleeping in DOES WONDERS FOR YOUR DAY!!!!

So, at the party Saturday night, I got drunk. I should not drink. Alcohol makes me naked (not that I got naked that night...sigh). Oh, I don't have anything against nudity, not at all. I love nudity, but some people aren't very good at it.

Helleeewwww. I'm not catholic anymore, but here's what I wanna do...I'm gonna make little hard candy crosses and sell them in packs and call them "Jesus Saviors"...like Life Savers, but they save your soul!

I think I got cock-blocked the other night a party. I say "I think" because after I backed off, I thought, maybe the guy was just her friend? And then it was time to go home. Is it possible to cock-block yourself? On accident?

I finally got a yo-yo. I had to buy it online because no one sells yo-yos any more. Does that make me a freak? That I actually spent time LOOKING for a YO-YO? But now I have one and I am as giddy as a schoolgirl. Yo-yos are fun. I guess it would be like dribbling a ball over and over again. I forgot how easy it is to bonk yourself in the head with a yo-yo. Man, that smarts.

The Forth of July was fun, I guess. I sang happy birthday to the USA, but I was not about to spank it 226 times.

Okay, again, I am a Simple Guy™, and here are a few simple things I want this week...
1) A toy store that sells yo-yos (you'd think Toy's R Us, right? FAO Schwarz, right? WRONG!!).
2) Immunity to flea bites
3) Death to corporate greed
4) The luxury to sleep in every day for the rest of my life.

So I helped my cousin move in to his new place in the Valley. I'm excited that he'll be close by. He's married and has a son. I'm trying to remind myself that the fact that he's younger than me and is married and has a son and a very successful career doesn't make me a loser. Okay, I'm not. Even though it may look it. But I don't know what that does make me.

Yo-yo's are the sort of toy one could play with all night. I proved that last night.

Awesome weekend. Saw Jon Brion at largo Friday night. His special guests? Wendy (guitarist from Prince's Revolution), Fiona Apple, and a great guitarist (forgot his name) and keyboardist. Yeah, really awesome show. Also went to the Hollywood Bowl for the first time ever. It was this big Hawaiian music concert. I'm not big into Hawaiian music, but it was still fun.

I've also discovered that I'm not a bad flirt.