I know I'm getting old because my farts are sounding more and more like my dad's farts.

A Busy Kennedy is a Tired Kennedy, but Better than a Bored Kennedy

In the past 9 days:
3 shows
1 guest lecture at a college
1 dress rehearsal for top secret project
1 producer's presentation for top secret project (which made me bitter, but I'm working on it)
3 auditions
1 callback
5 hours sleep each night (average)
4 billion emails (3 billion spam)

And this is the slow week.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
Helleeewww...here is a quick Kennedy update for youz!

First of all, I like Sundays. In the last couple of months, it has become my "do nothing" day. I wake up at around noon. But I don't get out of bed. I just lie there and stare at the ceiling and think about silly shit for about an hour. Then I get up and drink some water, see what's on TV, then go back to bed and take a nap. Yes. It's my "lazy motherfucker" day. I don't do NUTHIN! And I LIKE IT! God rested on the seventh day. So if God can take all day to rest, so can I! Take it up with God, for it is the Lord who is setting the example for me. And no matter how lazy and slothful I may seem, I don't think I can beat God's laziness. And I can be a lazy fuck. So what I'm saying is that I'm not lazy, I'm just trying to emulate God.

Speaking of God, it's Easter Bunny Sunday. Yes, this is the day Jesus popped out of his tomb and scared the shit out of his friends. Well, he was supposed to be dead, right? I mean, if I saw someone get killed and I saw him the next day, I'd piss my pants right there.

And when he came out of the grave, he had a bunny tucked under one arm and a basket of chocolates in the other.

So far, there is a tie for the Kennedy Quiz. Right now Alfie and Fwacy are tied. You may read their answers. Do you think you can do better than them? I don't know. They had pretty good answers.

It's official. My apartment is a total fucking mess. Yes. It is the worst it has ever been ever since I moved in. It's almost as bad as my college dorm. It's like a homeless person came in and his shoppping cart exploded. It's that fucking bad. What's worse is that I don't see myself cleaning up any time in the near future, since I don't have a girlfriend to bring over. Which means I'd better get one really soon or I won't be able to open my front door.

And finally...I am watching the movie "Brazil" dubbed in Spanish. It's on one of the spanish language channels (duh). It's cool because I know that movie really well, so it's easy to follow. It's almost as fun as watching R*n P*piel's rotisserie oven infomercial in Spanish. Now THAT's a hoot.

MY CRAZY BUILDING
My apartment building is occupied mostly by senior citizens. So it's rather quiet. They wake up early, eat dinner early, and go to bed early. They don't play loud music or have loud parties.

BUT, there is one dude who lives in the corner apartment, down the hall from me, who once in a while, late at night, screams jibberish out his window. I don't know if he's drunk or high, or maybe he forgot his medication, but he sounds positively insane. And it's scary when you hear it at around midnight. The police have come by once in a while to tell him to shut up. I guess if I were braver, I would knock on his door and ask him oh so politely to keep it down, but who knows? He may come at me with an ice pick and try to de-brain me.

I've seen this guy in the hallway, or coming into the building, and he seems like a normal guy. He's in his forties, he rides a bike, he smiles and says "hi." I don't know, it's kind of creepy, isn't it?

So today, I'm in the local market buying snackage (cuz I eat like a bird), and I hear "How are you doing?" And I look up, and it's him, smiling, and I say "Hey, I'm doing great!" and I keep shopping.

And in the back of my head I'm thinking "Hey, I'm the dude who called the cops on you that night."

Then there's my next door neighbor. He's kinda old. He's got this white mustache that's kinda waxed on the ends, so he looks like a barbershop quartet singer. Except that once in a blue moon, he'll come home late at night (like at 1am, and I'm still awake), and he's drunk and yelling at no one in particular. But boy, is he mad. He'll just talk real loud and swear. "Those motherfuckers!" and "God dammit!" Over and over again, slamming drawers and shit. I guess if I was braver, I would knock at his door and oh so politely ask him to keep it down, but shit, he's drunk. I mean, he may be old, but he may have a gun, right?

I guess I could do that, though. I mean, him being old and drunk, I think I could out-maneuver him. You know, duck and slip, put him in a figure four leg lock? You know?

QUIZ RESULTS
So far, Alfie E. is winning the pop quiz for the readers, mostly by default. You gonna let her win?

A QUIZ FOR ALL OF YOUZ
OK, I need help from you, yes, YOU. You, the person reading this. Yes, you, not the creepy guy lurking behind you, but YOU.

If you can answer these questions (which have been bothering me for the last few days) I will give you a prize. Now, don't get too excited. You know my income, so you won't be getting a yacht or anything. But I'll give prizes to the person with the most creative and/or sensible answers. Ready? OK. Here ya go...

1) I am a pretty smart fellow. So how come I am strangely drawn to watch "COPS" and "CHEATERS"? Huh? Tell me that!

2) Am I too old to run away with the circus (not as a clown, but as a kick-ass trapeze artist)?

3) Why am I not in Italy right now?

4) How can I get rid of this lower back pain without the use of drugs?

5) Why does V*n De*sel have a career?

6) Why did I almost cry at the "Southpark" movie?

Again, the person with the most creative and/or sensible answers wins a prize. Not a great big prize, mind you, but heck, it's a prize from me. And isn't that a good thing?