A QUIZ FOR ALL OF YOUZ
OK, I need help from you, yes, YOU. You, the person reading this. Yes, you, not the creepy guy lurking behind you, but YOU.

If you can answer these questions (which have been bothering me for the last few days) I will give you a prize. Now, don't get too excited. You know my income, so you won't be getting a yacht or anything. But I'll give prizes to the person with the most creative and/or sensible answers. Ready? OK. Here ya go...

1) I am a pretty smart fellow. So how come I am strangely drawn to watch "COPS" and "CHEATERS"? Huh? Tell me that!

2) Am I too old to run away with the circus (not as a clown, but as a kick-ass trapeze artist)?

3) Why am I not in Italy right now?

4) How can I get rid of this lower back pain without the use of drugs?

5) Why does V*n De*sel have a career?

6) Why did I almost cry at the "Southpark" movie?

Again, the person with the most creative and/or sensible answers wins a prize. Not a great big prize, mind you, but heck, it's a prize from me. And isn't that a good thing?