I've hidden this long enough...

The kid in the Sm@rt and Fin@al commercials scares the shit out of me.

There. I said it.

Today's wish

flyinglessons
Originally uploaded by dookyhead.

With apologies for misquoting D.H.

moi j'ai flashe a nous deux.
un grand baiser d'eternite.
je suis si folle de toi.
oh embrasse-moi ce soir.
un grand baiser d'eternite.

Tonight the rain came down in L.A. in a beautiful, glorious way, the only way it ever comes down in L.A.

I drove through a neighborhood where all the traffic lights were out. The neighborhoods were pretty empty, so there was no cross traffic and I found it hauntingly beautiful. The streets were black and shiny, the rain pattered on the roof of the car, a mellow D@vid B0wie song played on the radio. Driving through the dark intersections filled me with a feeling of dangerous beauty, like watching a sleeping jaguar.

Calling all psychics

A friend of mine read my tar0t cards the other night. She's given me a reading once before. Both times she looked at the card layout and said "Hmmm. That's a little odd."

And I just want to say "THAT'S BECAUSE I'M A LITTLE ODD!"

And on top of everything else...

I'm reporting to jury duty this morning.

Empecé a recordar.
Y paseé
por mi mente y encontré,
aquel rincón que te dejé,
donde guardo los
momentos que no olvidé.
Revivo aquella noche en que
olvidamos lo demás,
el cielo se volvió rojo al sol
vimos bostezar,
se ha perdido entre la gente,
me he perdido yo también,
ya se ha ido el 28 la memoria de
un ayer.

-La 0reja de Van G0gh

It's baaaaaaaack!

Pon farr.

Run.

Good to know

To paraphrase my good friend Amy, cartoons of tiny mice yelling is inherently cute.

Whew. Good.

Don't get me wrong...

I'm in a show where most of the men I rehearse with are gay. WHICH IS FINE BY ME. Anyway, they like to talk about men - h0t men, sexy men, n@ked men, @sses, and pen!s, pen!s, pen!s - which is OK, but once in a while, I want to say "Doesn't anyone want to talk about vaginas?"

Sometimes I can annoy the hell out of me.

I can get real philisophical at the drop of a hat. Really. And if I was listening to me, I would get tired real fast.

For example, last week I was at R@lph's, waiting in line, when I'm thinking stupid bullsh!t actor-y stuff, like "I need new photos...which photographer should I use...who should I send them to..." blah, blah, blah, gag.

Then the two people in front of me were discussing a film that wasn't even out yet, and talking about how it should be marketed, etc. And in the next line, there were like four young actors talking about agents and auditions, and how to get more work, etc. And the magazine racks all had celebrities on the covers, the newest diets, how to make your ass look great, etc.

And for those few seconds, it felt like my life became a small cog in a huge machine called Hollywood, and I really felt how small, insignificant, disposable commodities actors are in this town, and how this industry doesn't look at us as people but as products, and how in the end it's all about money and humanity falls by the wayside, and I just thought "I gotta get the hell out of L.A. soon or I'll just freak."

And last night I was up late (surprise). I was watching this religious program (just out of curiosity...and in the end, it made no sense to me), and afterwards, there was this informercial about this new piece of exercise equipment which is basically a bent stick that you hang on to while you do aerobics and it works your entire body. Whatever. But the guy who was selling it, and everyone in the infomercial was so focused on the amazing-ness of the product that sometimes I wanted to say "IT'S JUST A STICK! What are you people, BLIND?"

And then it went off again, my philosophical streak, thinking about the history of humanity. From ancient times, when we looked to the sky and tried to figure out when would be the best time to harvest and hunt, how we understood nature and worked with it and its goals, and how we have evolved from beautiful creatures that were part of that cycle, into people in tights trying to scam people into forking over tons of money for a fucking stick.

I could go on all day about this, but I can't. I got bills to pay.

YOU MUST CHILL!

First of all, every computer I dealt with today was being a shitbag. Is Mercury in retrograde?

And then tonight at around 11:30pm I'm in the dairy section of R@lph's, looking around, and inside my head I'm screaming "WHO THE FUCK TOOK ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING SOY MILK!?" Which, even in my head, sounded like a strange sentence. Not as strange as "That nun kicked that elephant in the balls," But I digress.

I was really pissed off that the soy milk I wanted was not there, for that was the only reason I made a stop to the grocery store in the first place. I'm thinking "CAN'T ANYTHING GO RIGHT TODAY? PLEASE? WHY? WHY IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT? WHY CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS? WHY DO SHITTY THINGS HAPPEN TO NICE PEOPLE LIKE ME? WHAT DID I DO IN A PAST LIFE THAT DEMANDS THIS KIND OF PAYBACK? IS LIFE JUST A BLACK HOLE OF MEANINGLESSNESS? IS HUMANKIND JUST FOOLING ITSELF? IS THIS TRULY MY DESTINY? IS THERE A GOD, AND IF SO, IS HE/SHE JUST AND GOOD, OR DOES HE/SHE EVEN GIVE A SHIT? IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH? WHAT IF THIS IS ALL THERE IS? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?"

So, I immediatley said to myself "Geez, you're getting all worked up over soy milk." Has ANYONE ever gotten THAT worked up about soy milk? Other than people in the soy milk industry, I mean. Well, apparently, I did.

Despite the fact that they are the source of cooties, I think girls are all right.

P.S.
Air fares to Seattle are pretty low right now! Woo-hoo!!

I need a vacation

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.