To my future girlfriend

You should never break up with me. Because after you do, sooner or later, you will be in the middle of something, and you will suddenly think "Wait a second, I broke up with him?! What was I thinking!"

And then your life will never be the same.

It's a fact.

Just letting you know.

I think I've figured me out.

To prospective girlfriends -
OK, so here's the deal with me. I am a Gemini, so there are two sides to me.

Now that you know this, here's the caveat:
For everything you find attractive, funny and original about me, you will find something equally ugly, irritating and stupid.

Buyer beware.

This is late but I don't care.

I am slightly stupid and very bored. So here's my thing:

Welcome to ASK A ZOMBIE, where we ask a zombie, well, questions. And he, um, answers them.

What do zombies eat?
BRAAAAAAIIIIINS!

What do you use to lock up your bike?
CHAAAAAAIIIIINS!

What part of the sink does water exit through?
DRAAAAAAIIIIINS!

What's your favorite bird?
CRAAAAANNNNES!

What's that all over your shirt?
STAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNS!

What vehicle flies in the air?
PLAAAAAANES!

What vehicle runs on tracks?
TRAAAAAAIIIIINS!

What are wheat, barley and rice?
GRAAAAAAIIIIINS!

What is your favorite fruit?
CANTALOUPE!

Thank you, mister zombie. See you next time!