Is it me, or are most of the women appraisers on "Antiques Roadshow" kinda sexy?
I got a thing for brainy chicks.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Candy-gram-mer
OK, I bought some Dove chocolates on sale (they were autumn themed, so there). Inside the wrapper of these individually wrapped, small, rounded-edged squares of fuck-all-y'all goodness, are printed some really awful pseudo-thoughtful autumnal sayings, like "enjoy the colors of nature" or "Fly a kite in the azure sky" or some lame shit. But that doesn't really bother me because I bought the bag for the dark chocolate-y goodness that is Dove, not for shitty wanna-be fortunes. No, it doesn't bother me.
That is, it didn't bother me until this piece I opened a few minutes ago.
The wrapper read: "The wind tells a story, listen."
The offending evidence:
OK, not only is that a STUPID, neo-hippy-new-agey thought, it's got TERRIBLE PUNCTUATION. There's a comma where a period or other END PUNCTUATION belongs. NOT A FUCKING COMMA. Correct grammer would read "The wind tells a story. Listen." Or, "The wind tells a story? Listen!" Or, "The wind tells a story! Listen!" Not a comma, you dickweeds, an end punctuation. Hey, here's a good example of using a comma - "FUCK YOU, DOVE!"
It made me so mad, I had to eat four more chocolates, even though my cholesterol is high. I ate them not because I was hungry or had a sweet tooth, but out of ANGER at DOVE. And to read some other lame sayings that were correctly puctuated, just to get the stupid punctuation mistake out of my head.
Fuck you, Dove.
P.S.
I love your chocolates.
P.P.S.
Fuck you anyway.
P.P.P.S.
You know, I haven't actually checked any punctuation books, so I may be entirely wrong. But whatever. It looks wrong. And if I'm wrong, then Dove is wrong for printing stupid shit on their labels.
That is, it didn't bother me until this piece I opened a few minutes ago.
The wrapper read: "The wind tells a story, listen."
The offending evidence:
OK, not only is that a STUPID, neo-hippy-new-agey thought, it's got TERRIBLE PUNCTUATION. There's a comma where a period or other END PUNCTUATION belongs. NOT A FUCKING COMMA. Correct grammer would read "The wind tells a story. Listen." Or, "The wind tells a story? Listen!" Or, "The wind tells a story! Listen!" Not a comma, you dickweeds, an end punctuation. Hey, here's a good example of using a comma - "FUCK YOU, DOVE!"
It made me so mad, I had to eat four more chocolates, even though my cholesterol is high. I ate them not because I was hungry or had a sweet tooth, but out of ANGER at DOVE. And to read some other lame sayings that were correctly puctuated, just to get the stupid punctuation mistake out of my head.
Fuck you, Dove.
P.S.
I love your chocolates.
P.P.S.
Fuck you anyway.
P.P.P.S.
You know, I haven't actually checked any punctuation books, so I may be entirely wrong. But whatever. It looks wrong. And if I'm wrong, then Dove is wrong for printing stupid shit on their labels.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
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