I'm at my Morning Job™. I honestly don't know why they haven't fired me. I come to work every day waiting for the other shoe to drop. Really, I'm not that important, and I'm not particularly exceptional in my work. I'm know there are tons of people who could do my job much better than I have. Yet I show up, and they pay me. Are we both getting suckered?

I was interviewed by CNN yesterday for a profile on Margaret Cho. Cool, huh? I wonder what they'll use. The interview was only about 40 minutes long. It was in this hip-retro hotel suite. I asked for some water, and the sound guy went to the fridge and gave me a bottle. It was from England. Like it matters? It tasted very watery, the way I expected water to taste. Should it taste any different because of the label? But I guess a fancy glass bottle from England makes the hotel more cool. Really, as long as it tastes like water and doesn't poison me, I could give a shit where it came from. IT'S JUST WATER. WATER IS EVERYWHERE. IT'S IN PLANTS, LAKES, CLOUDS AND RAIN. WHY SHOULD IT COST MORE THAN BEER?

I hope I had enough usable sound bites. I've learned how to create usable soundbites for TV interviews. It's a cool skill to learn.