OK, so, a little bit of filipino tradition...your
cousin's children, according to Filipino tradition,
are called your nieces and nephews, and they call you
aunt or uncle, etc. Fine. OK. We use that in the US
too, that's why even only children can have a bunch of
nieces and nephews, and that's also why we have
billions of people we call aunt and uncle. BUT...if
your neices and nephews have children, what do those
kids call you? "Lolo" or "Lola" (grandpa or
grandma)!!! I DID NOT KNOW THIS!!! It took me
completely by surprise when two little 3-year-old kids
came up to me during the reunion, gave me "mano po",
and said (in perfect Visayan) "Merry Christmas Lolo
Ken!" Lolo Ken?!? WHATTHEWHOWHAHUH? I don't even
own a cane! For a second I almost shit myself
(literally, because I had bad food earlier, but that's
a different story), but then thought, "aww, why the
hell not. They're so cute." One of my FEW weaknesses
are little children who speak another language
fluently.

BEFORE I GO ON...I would like to thank the Honda
Motorcycle Company for creating the XLR 200, a badass
motocross-type bike, complete with pro-link suspension
system. Because of them, I may buy a motorcyle again,
despite my accident (just don't tell my parents).
Yes, my next bike will definitely be an XLR.

OK, what I've done so far: got a foot spa; attended
children's b-day party complete with the BEST FUCKING
PARTY CLOWN (serious, this guy KICKED ASS), where I
ate too much food; attended family reunion (80+ people
- although the first hour and a half was spent curled
up in a ball due to indigestion from the kid's b-day
party); lost my cel phone in a taxi; saw the inside of
a local police precinct, complete with jail
(remember...lots of cops in my family, like "Copland"
but without corruption, "goodfellas" without mob
connection); took a 45 minute boat ride to my late
grandparent's farm; hypnotized a chicken; drank from a
coconut; spent the nite in the town where my dad was
born; rode the HONDA XLR 200 up and down steep, rocky
hills, through mud, past rice fields, around water
buffalo dung, past pigs, goats and naked kids; saw a
monkey; climbed steep, rocky cliffs in FLIP-FLOPS
(took off flip-flops for return, feet still soft due
to foot spa, but now I need a manicure); visited an
ancient cave complete with underground pool and bat
(guide was a one armed man who lost it from dynamite
fishing); fired an M-16; had a picnic and took a
shower under a waterfall (really, a shower - used soap
and everything); saw a pig strapped to a motorcycle;
went to a really huge nightclub; ate durian.

FINAL NOTE: Mindanao is the hugest island in the
south. Most of the places outside of Davao (the
biggest city) are provices (provinces=rural=way the
fuck out there). Most people down here (unlike
manila) are really dark. A taxi driver thought I was
korean. A cashier thought I was Japanese. I'm
visiting my 96 year old grandmother tomorrow. She'll
probably turn to my mom and say "who's the chinese
guy?"