This is the actual inner monologue that went on in my head when I woke up this morning:

"Hmmm...what day is it? Oh, must be a weekday, the alarm clock is going off...where am I, a hotel? A house? An apartment. Whose apartment? Hmmm...that's my shit in a pile on the floor, I guess it's mine...how am I paying for this apartment? Oh, shit! I gotta go to work!"