Sometimes when I am having an intelligent conversation with a beautiful woman, I want to say "That's an interesting thought. Would you feel the same way if you had your pants off? Wanna give it a try?"

It's the pon farr, dude.

The rules of society state that...
I have a penis, therefore I cannot cry.
Unless someone kicks it. Only then can I cry. Like a bitch.

The sci-fi geeks will get this
For those wondering about my behavior lately, I am going through pon farr and am in the throes of plak tow. Well, it is springtime, you know.

I can tell it's springtime because, you know, I feel it. You know what I mean? I'm...feeling...it, you know?

Just a KK FYI
If you are female and any of the following are true:

a) I send you a recipie for ****** ********* ****,
b) I burn a CD with a song by ******* *****or ***** ********or from the sountrack to **** ****** * ****,
c) I write you a long poem (or quote a line from *******),

then you are considered a kick-ass woman and are indeed KK girlfriend material.

A Proposal by the Kennedy Kabasares
Since Starf*cks Coffee is buying up every molecule in the universe (I think they even own part of my left buttcheek), I think we should start encorporating Starf*cks in our everyday speech. For example: "I would date her, but her ass-achino is too grande."

Accents
Why does the British accent make any phrase sound nice? Even a phrase like "I think I'm going to vomit" sounds rather pleasing in an English sort of way. So what I'm saying is that if you have to be around a bunch of sick people, make sure you're in London.

I was having a hard time sleeping last night. I kept waking up. This morning, around 7am, as I was trying to fall asleep, L came to me in that state, that in between time, sandwiched between awake and dreaming. She just appeared and started talking. We were nowhere in particular. It was just her and me in the darkness.

"Thank you for coming to visit me in the hospital," she said.
"No problem," I answered. "I couldn't tell if you wanted me there or not towards the end."
I paused, and then asked,
"L, what are you doing here?"
"I'm dead now, and I want to show people my appreciation. Thank you for your hard work."
"L, thank you."

And with that, she faded away.

Saying Goodbye Part 1
It's hard.
I went to visit L in the hospital Friday night. I got in at about 9:40pm, and I thought she'd be resting, but no, she was undergoing her last chemo treatment. Her sister T came up to me and was quite frank. "She's not getting better," she said.

T had been there all day, and needed to rest, so she took a nap. S was there too, keeping an eye on her during her treatment. It lasted till around 12:30am. I sat there next to the bed on one side, with S on the other. S was nodding off, and I wondered if I had ever been in this situation before.

When I was 18, I went to the Philippines to visit my grandfather, who I had never seen before, on his deathbed. He could not talk, but he cried when he saw me. It was quite a sad experience, as my grandfather was well loved by everyone. The family stayed by his bedside, all night long, in a vigil, almost. It was a very big downer. We were in Davao in 1986, and the hospital was very much typical in a non-developed region. The hallways reeked of urine and feces, the floors were dusty, the windows were cracked, and there were ants crawling along the windowsill. They would call out his name. Why? What were they doing? It seemed to me that they were having a hard time letting go. That was the first time I had to watch loved ones suffer along with someone in a hospital.

Well, here I was, seventeen years later, in a calmer, cleaner, yet just as stressful situation. We watched as she writhed in the bed, obviously in a pain I could not even begin to imagine. S and I sat by the bed, watching, helpless, yet trying to be helpful in our own way. We had to be strong. Even though she was not fully conscious, we had to show a strong face. I believe that the sick can feel our energy regardless of their state, and they can sense when we are being weak, even if they can't see us.

After her therapy, S had to go home. T was still asleep, so I stayed by L's bed until she fell into a more peaceful sleep. That wouldn't come for another two hours.

The chemo, combined with the other medicines, made her obviously uncomforable. She would try to rest, and suddenly wake up, obviously in pain. At those moments I would grab her hand and she would look at me, and I'd say "I'm right here. Take a deep breath. I'm right here."

And it was in between those moments, when she was trying to rest, when I would hang my head and feel as if I couldn't continue doing this. She was one of the strongest women I have ever met, how could I possibly give her the strength she needed. How could her family go through this every day? I felt so weak, wondering if I could help her at all. But I maintained this strong front, holding her hand when she needed it, looking at her, saying "I'm right here. Take a deep breath."

She fell into a quieter sleep at around 3am.

CAN THE GOVERNMENT BE ANY MORE FUCKING VAGUE?
FROM REUTERS 5/20/03
The decision to raise the alert level to "high" or "orange" from "elevated" or "yellow" on the color-coded scale was made at the White House at a meeting of top national security officials after a review of recent intelligence, a senior official said.

The FBI said earlier in the day that recent suicide bombings in Saudi Arabia and Morocco could lead to an attack on the United States, though it said it had no specific threat information.
"Recent intelligence suggests that attacks may be a prelude to an attack on the United States," the FBI said in a message sent to law enforcement agencies across the country. "However, the FBI possesses no information indicating a specific threat in the United States."

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I think I'm a pretty intelligent, sophisticated kind of guy, but for some reason, a really well-placed fart noise will make me laugh like a motherfucker.

I am all alone at Morning Job®. I am about to eat a banana. This is the most exciting thing that's happened to me all morning. 2 hours and 15 minutes, then I get to go to Afternoon Job®.

I think I'm depressed. I usually can't tell until a few days into it. It's allright I'm depressed, with all that's happened in the last couple of weeks. And I could use the extra sleep. Who ever said depression had to be a bad thing?

I went to the hospital to day to visit my friend who has cancer. I helped her pick out her meals for the day from the hospital menu. Look here, hospital people: just because she's losing her hair doesn't mean she's losing her taste buds too. Make some good freaking food, for god's sake!

I didn't make this shit up...
From the California City website:
"2000 - It's going to be a great 21st Century for the City of California City.
McDonald's opens next door to Rite-Aid. "
This city is the shit. Maybe next they'll have flying cars. And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.

I'm not feeling entirely like myself. Maybe I've been replaced by an alien.

She's married. Shit. Looks like I gotta gas up the car...

I swear to god, if she's married, I'm just going to give up. Just give the fuck up. I swear, I'm driving up to San Francisco and jumping off that goddamn bridge.

I am feeling quite unnerved that we may never know who let the dogs out.

Ok, my archives aren't archiving right, so here's some help...
click here for:
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003

Am I a geek or what?

I have yet to find a woman worthy of me burning a mix CD for her. But when that happens, man, just watch out!