I think I got everyone at work sick. I've never done that before. It's cool, in a strange way.

*sigh* I miss the Chupacabra.

Oh, God, I hope I'm not getting sick. Oh, God, I hope I'm not getting sick. Everyone's been getting sick around me and I've been OK for the longest time. But two nights ago, I got this wierd sore throat, and it got worse yesterday. So I hope it's not going to get any worse. I've been downing emergen-C (that shit ROCKS). Last night, after I got home from work, I STAYED IN BED. I hope that panicking about a possible illness does not make it worse. I hope it's nothing.

It's like what happened a few weeks ago. I looked in the mirror and I thought I was getting a GUT. A little pooch belly gut. I looked in the mirror and said "oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit." I was REALLY disturbed. No! Has it finally happened? After years of boasting how I can eat anything? No! It couldn't be! But it turned out that I was just bloated with gas.

Boy, was I happy to be bloated with gas.

This never happened...
...but it's sure plausible.

A SHORT SCENE by me.
Lights up. KENNEDY at a party. BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
stands next to him.

BW (smiling): Excuse me?
K (smiling): Yes?
BW: Could you watch my purse while I go to the
bathroom?
K: Sure.
BW: Oh, wait, never mind. I'll bring it with me.

BW exits.

K: No, I don't mind watching...oh, okay then...I'll
just, um...yeah.

BLACKOUT

Just showing of my ecclectic tastes
Two of my favorite movies--
1) "Mullholland Drive" by David Lynch
2) "City Lights" by Charles Chaplin
I think the final 40 minutes of "Mullholland Drive" and the last 2 minutes of "City Lights" are brilliant. Just brilliant. No, I'm not saying that you shouldn't see the whole movie. You should, because it's all wonderful. I'm just saying that the endings just give the movies that extra zing, you know?

First Winona, then J. Lo and Affleck's engagement, and now Mr. Rooney. ENOUGH WITH THE CELEBRITY CRIMES!

A question to myself
Am I a big dork or what?

I think it's a bad sign when the most exciting thing about the Morning Job today is that I can't find the 3-hole punch.

I like it when animals sniff the camera lens, so their noses look really big, while the rest of their face and body looks small. I think that's cute. Not so cute with people, though.

OK, I find dimples attractive on a woman. Why? I don't know. I mean, I have dimples, and I don't think about them at all until someone brings it up. But I think women with dimples have that extra I-don't-know-what. Maybe I'm projecting. Maybe it's the one common thing I feel comfortable talking about with a stranger. I mean, when I rode a motorcycle, I sort of felt comfortable talking to strangers about their motorcycles. But I only know about my own motorcycle - I'm no motorcycle officianado, so I felt kind of limited about talking about it.

But dimples, I feel, are a way for me to talk to attractive women. I'm not as intimidated because I've got them too, I've had them all my life, and I feel like an expert on them. Wait...Huh? what the hell am I talking about?

I don't know. I'm just babbling because I met a cute woman last night who had one dimple on her left cheek. I thought she was just really cute and I can't stop thinking about it and I'd better stop because. Just because.

I love to wave at dogs when I see them in cars or just sitting there. I don't know why. I highly doubt they will wave back. But I do it anyway, almost on instinct. It makes me happy.

I'm starting to mumble to myself. I would think that's bad, but at least I'm catching myself when I do it.

I'm the type of guy who people ignore when a beautiful person (man or woman) enters the room. I'm also the "can you watch my purse" guy.

Poor Wynona. Poor, stupid Wynona.

For some reason, I get all giddy when I get the "web page not found" screen.

New Personal Best
This morning I woke up at 10:10am yelling "shit! shit!" (that's not unusual). Got to work by 10:33am. HOW THE HELL DID I DO THAT?

Women wearing fur chaps and a bikini. A man grabbed my ass. B made me wear a bra when we got home. Other than that, it was a boring weekend.

There's no cool way to get out of a waterbed.