Another open letter

Dear people who run McDonalds,

I can't say enough aboout the McGriddles you make for breakfast. They fucking kick the shit out of the Egg McMuffin. Really. I never really liked that piece of shit lame-ass breakfast thing. In fact, I may go as far a saying I fucking hated the Egg McMuffin. Which is a really strong statement, because I like eggs, and I like muffins. But you guys sure did some fucked up shit to that thing.

Anyways, back to the McGriddles. It's almost genius. OK, so it's like two small pancakes (with the syrup INSIDE!!!), with eggs and cheese and either bacon or sausage sandwiched in between. Fucking A!!! That's fucking beautiful. How the hell did you come up with that? Was one of you eating a big, hearty breakfast and said "Fuck this, I want to eat all of this at once"? So you came up with that bad ass McGriddle. Because, really, it works. It really works.

I must reiterate that I believe you should sell those motherfuckers all goddamn day. You hear me? I'm one of those bastards (and I'm sure there are many others) who can eat pancakes (or any kind of breakfast, except for those fucked up McMuffins) all damn day. If it was, like, 2am, and there was a McDonalds open, I would sure as shit buy one of those bad boys, hands down. I swear to fucking god I would.

So, please, McDonalds people, listen to my plea. And I'm sure I speak for countless others who have been hypnotized by your breakfast treat.

What the fuck is in there? Crack? I'm fucking addicted!

the Kennedy Kabasares