In case I die
This may sound morbid, but I left instructions for what to do if I die. I left them in an envelope with "IN CASE I DIE" written on it, so people won't confuse it with other envelopes (like the envelope that says "Bills I Can't Pay"). And if that doesn't get anyone's attention, then the people searching my apartment would be dumb-asses. Here is an excerpt, because some parts have very sensitive information...

1. I want to be creamated. Please don't stick me in the ground where I will only take up space for who knows how long, and then people will have to get scared because of the fear of desecrating my grave, and i don't want my coffin to pop up like in the movie "Poltergeist." So, please, please have me cremated. And do what you will with the ashes. Scattering them would be cool. An urn would be nice too, as it would take up less space and you can put it on a shelf or something.

2. I'd like a non-denominational memorial service. Even though I was baptized Roman Catholic, I am no longer practicing any religion. And, as my friends are of many faiths, I'd just like a ceremony everyone can feel like they're a part of. Oh, yeah, and dress is casual...

3 through 5 omitted on this page for security reasons.

6. Oh, yeah, after the memorial service, I'd like there to be a reception. And I want the reception to be fun, with lots of laugher and music (music I like, so look through my CD collection). And I want everyone to share their love, and I want everyone to hug each other and tell them they love them, and call them their brother or sister.

...you get the point. Then there are instructions on what to do in case the instructions are found WAY AFTER I've died, and my family has done some other kind of service. Not that I want to die any time soon, but when I do, I don't want anyone fucking up my service.