Juxtaposition defined
So I'm walking downtown trying to look tough, right? I'm wearing shades, got my hoodie pulled over my head, got my headphones on, and I'm walking like a boxer, giving off this "don't fuck with me" vibe.

Then I realize I'm listening to The Carpenter's "Close To You."

I haven't had sex in so long, my penis makes a creaking noise.

Well, it's kind of a miracle.
Tonight I did my laundry, cleaned my apartment, vaccuumed, did the dishes AND got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor! Amazing. I don't even have a girlfriend. I don't even have a date coming over for the next, um, year or so.

"I just have this flashy, wacky job that confuses people into thinking that I'm somehow fascinating."
-- JULIA ROBERTS

The caption for this photo should read "Bitch, don't leave me hanging!"