I think that THIS is my favorite game in the world right now.

I don't think people really appreciate the entertainment value of a Linda Blair Exorcist head. I truly don't.

P.S.
Things that are always funny: nuns, monks and hare krishnas. Also, even though I prefer highbrow, intellectual humor, I can also appreciate a well placed fart noise.

I can't afford to get a newer cell phone, so I just ordered some colored faceplates to make me feel like I have a new phone. It'll look new, at least.

Hey, I just played a little bit of GTA: Vice City at my cousin's place. It looks SOOOOOOO cool. I love it.

They're all sick
I'm at Morning Job™, all alone. All by my lonesome. Apparently everyone is out sick, but I come in anyway. Maybe there's some virus floating around the office. If so, why was I not told "Hey, stay home! Everyone's sick!" Maybe they WANT me to get sick, like everyone else. Maybe they're testing my immunity levels. Well, I guess SOMEONE has to answer the phone and say "No one's here, they're all sick."

I have a small brain. I must. I found a tiny Rubik's cube at Burning Man, and I brought it home with me. The other night I picked it up. After I started fiddling around and matching the colors, I neglected reading, news, the phone, eating, even VIDEO GAMES. What's that about?

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Here I come!
Okay, so I signed up for the National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. They don't expect you to write the Great American Novel. They just expect to write 50,000 words. They know that most of it will be crap and make no sense. Some of the guidelines - you must start Nov. 1, and end Nov. 30. You can't write a novel in progress - you must start on Nov. 1 with a clean slate.

This will be interesting.

Sometimes I wish I were gay because, right now, I can't decorate my apartment worth shit.

Happy national day of protesting police brutality! I'm at Afternoon Job right now, which is right next to Parker Center and Los Angeles City Hall. The streets around here are lined with police in riot gear and on horseback. I guess just in case things get out of hand, the police will be ready with their night sticks and rubber bullets to beat the crap out of lawbreakers.

On a completely different note, I hate seeing pretty women walking by while I'm in my car. They break my heart because I keep thinking "Hey, where you going? Why is she walking away?" And I cry. I cry one big tear.

I love weekends. I love loosley planned weekends because I can sleep in until the afternoon. I especially love weekends where I get to see a stage show where a pretty woman takes off her shirt and exposes her nicely shaped boobs.

P.S.
I especially love weekends where I get to hear Ratt's "Round and Round," and the person in the passenger seat knows the song too.

I love donuts.

They Look Like Neon Witches' Hats

Is it orange cone day here in Los Angeles? Is that what it is? Here's how my morning drive went...

I had to go to an audition this morning. On my way to the freeway, the three-lane street that led to the freeway entrance was reduced to one lane because of "tree maintenance" crews, who were trimming trees on the island and had lots of equipment, so two lanes were blocked with orange cones. At this point, I'm getting nervous cuz I don't want to be late.

On the freeway, the traffic was slow on my side because people were rubbernecking an accident that happened in the opposite direction. That slowed me down some more, but when I saw my exit, I thought "Great, smooth sailing from here on." But, alas, on the exit ramp, one of the three exit lanes was blocked with orange cones because they were repairing a traffic signal. Slowed me down again.

So now I'm on Melrose Avenue, and I think "Great, Melrose will be smooth sailing from here on." But no. First, there was a large FedEx Ground truck RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, driving slow because it was large. So I decided to pull into the right lane to get around it (what was it doing in the left lane anyway?). But suddenly, I had to pull back behind the large truck because, right in front of Paramount Studios, they were digging up the street for some reason, blocking it off with MORE ORANGE CONES.

So I get to the audition pretty much about two or three minutes late. The audition was quick, and I decide to take a different route to get back, because of all the cones. Things were running smoothly, until, about four blocks from the freeway entrance, a truck blocked the CENTER lane with it's orange cones. Hmm. Orange cone day. It's only 1pm, and I have a little more driving to do. I wonder what I'll see.

With that explosion in Bali, I'm wondering just how safe the Philippines will be when I go there for Christmas. It kinda makes me edgy, since we will be in Mindanao, a haven for insurgents. I don't want to think about that.

Things I'm finding out: Asking women out for a date - not as difficult as it seems. Trying to convince myself that I'm not an uninteresting skinny geek dork - VERY DIFFICULT.

On a completely unrelated note - Saw my friend sing at a CD release party this weekend. It was at this beautiful, very unique house built by F.L. Wright's son, in the Hollywood Hills. Very Aztec-ish. OK, so the guy who made the CD was there. A very well travelled, socially aware composer. But, as a public speaker, his speeches were a little to new-age-y for me. So was the music. But the house was great. Then I thought, if I had a huge, beautiful house, all the furnishings would probably come from Target or Ikea.

So I just saw "In The Mood For Love", a movie directed by Wong Kar-Wai (same guy who did "Chung King Express"). Wow! What a beautifully shot film! And the story's all sad and romantic and shit. It takes place in Hong Kong, 1962. Please let me blab right now...MAGGIE CHEUNG MAGGIE CHEUNG MAGGIE CHEUNG MAGGIE CHEUNG MAGGIE CHEUNG. She's HOT. She and Tony Leung are wearing these TOO COOL clothes from the era. She's wearing these nice coctail-type dresses, he's wearing these shark-skin suits with cool ties. Makes me wanna get me a sharkskin suit. The colors in the movie are reminiscent of old James Bond movies, or pictures from Life magazine. MAGGIE CHEUNG!

I accidentaly found something that I think is interesting (and will probably make me a geek). Today, at Morning Job™, I was asked to deliver stuff around town. So I got to go out and drive in my car, which is a welcome diversion. It's always nice to be out and about. Aaaaaaaaaanyhoo, there's this shopping center on the corner of Vermont and Santa Monica Blvd. There's a Rite Aid and I think a Staples there. But in the middle of the parking area, there's this island that has all these street lamps lined up. All different kinds. I'd say there are about ten or twelve of them, all lined up by height. Some were pretty short, and some were very high. And they all were differrent. Some looked like they were from the 1920's or something, and some looked very modern. It was a display of all the different types of streetlamps in use in the Los Angeles area. Each one had a small plaque with it's model and the area of Los Angeles where it can be found. I think the reason why it was displayed in this particular shopping area is because the city has a streetlight repair place a few blocks away. Okay, so I'm a big geek, but I found this really, REALLY neat, and if you think it's geeky, well nuts to you, I'll pummel the shit out of you out back in the parking lot.

I'm not good at giving directions. I'm the kind of guy who drives until I recognize the exit sign on the freeway ("yes, it's this one"). I'm also not good at street names. I just know that you turn left when you see that bunch of houses, or when the street starts looking a certain way. Or a couple of blocks after that gas station.

Nobody cares about your pathetic little problems, you insignificant worm! (a.k.a. Things I hate, pt. 1)

The fact that my rent check is probably going to bounce...again. Going to Morning Job™, especially in the morning. People who don't read directions. Slick, snaky producers/personal managers. People who continue to irritate me even after I've told them that they're irritating me. Televised police car chases. Dating shows on TV. Hives. Flying bugs. Viruses (computer and human). Status symbols and their seekers. Clothing with the designer's name prominently displayed (I'm talking big name and trendy designers). Name droppers. People who don't use their signals to change lanes. Rabid animals. Animals that want to eat me. Most FM radio stations. To be continued...

Again, I wake up pretty late, and rush to Morning Job™. I wonder why they haven't fired me yet. I like to believe that I'm such a wonderful personality that they have to have me around. But in reality, I think it's because they can't hire anyone to do my job for such little pay.

Wow. So I fired my manager. Wow. That's kinda exciting. It's kinda scary, too. It's like, someone pushed you out into the cold and said "Okay, asshole, now survive." And I say "All right, I'll show you, dick!" But I did it to myself. I fired HIM. Kinda scary.