Memorial Day

On this Memorial Day, I would like to thank all those who gave their lives for this country so I may be free to dance around in my apartment in my underwear.

Thank you, and sorry.

This'll make you feel better.

Today I fell off the trapeze bar. I F#*&ING FELL! So if you did something today that made you feel stupid, just remember: I fell off the trapeze bar.

Everything is better now.

I just bought an ice cream maker. You hear what I'm saying? I can MAKE MY OWN FREAKIN ICE CREAM, BEEYATCH!!!

Suck it!

Springtime.
The Pon Farr is getting stronger.
Somebody might get hurt.

Making the hot list

I've found out who finds me hot.

1) Gay men.
2) High school-aged girls.

I'm going to jump off a bridge now.