Today's I.M. conversation

M: i talked to *** last night at happy hour about the party
and he said that i could just crash there

M: but i don't like sleeping in other people's vomit

kennedy: but why not?

M: mine, i'm fine with. just as long as i know what's in the vomit, i'm fine.

kennedy: You're just picky.

M: yeah, i know

M: i need to lower my standards

kennedy: Yeah.

M: i need to live on the edge more

kennedy: Yup.

I went to Trader J0es the other day and bought a loaf of "Mom's White Bread." I realized that the name could be interpreted in two ways. You can see it as "That white bread belongs to Mom," or you can see it as "Mom is not an exciting person."