I went to the hospital to day to visit my friend who has cancer. I helped her pick out her meals for the day from the hospital menu. Look here, hospital people: just because she's losing her hair doesn't mean she's losing her taste buds too. Make some good freaking food, for god's sake!

I didn't make this shit up...
From the California City website:
"2000 - It's going to be a great 21st Century for the City of California City.
McDonald's opens next door to Rite-Aid. "
This city is the shit. Maybe next they'll have flying cars. And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.