MAUI - THE TRIP SO FAR
After being picked up by M at 6am, I'm dropped off at the United terminal of LAX. I go through three lines (one for check-in, two for security) that takes me about 40 minutes to get through. I finally make it to the plane. Surprisingly, it's not very crowded (about 65% by my estimate). I get my own row!

So, here's my question - WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE FINE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS? When did they all get replaced by old diner waitresses with bad hair? I was not turned on by any of them. Gimme something to look at other than the in-flight movie!

So I land in Maui. And it's raining. And not just rain. It's like monsoon rain. Rain like no one here has seen in years. Like flooding the streets rain. Like build an ark rain.

My cousin's wife meets me at the baggage claim. She tells me I"m not staying at their house. I think "uh-oh." Then she tells me her aunt went to visit relatives in California, and I"m going to be staying at the empty apartment. She has digital cable!

It's still raining, but I don't care. I'm in Maui, motherfuckers!