MY CRAZY BUILDING
My apartment building is occupied mostly by senior citizens. So it's rather quiet. They wake up early, eat dinner early, and go to bed early. They don't play loud music or have loud parties.

BUT, there is one dude who lives in the corner apartment, down the hall from me, who once in a while, late at night, screams jibberish out his window. I don't know if he's drunk or high, or maybe he forgot his medication, but he sounds positively insane. And it's scary when you hear it at around midnight. The police have come by once in a while to tell him to shut up. I guess if I were braver, I would knock on his door and ask him oh so politely to keep it down, but who knows? He may come at me with an ice pick and try to de-brain me.

I've seen this guy in the hallway, or coming into the building, and he seems like a normal guy. He's in his forties, he rides a bike, he smiles and says "hi." I don't know, it's kind of creepy, isn't it?

So today, I'm in the local market buying snackage (cuz I eat like a bird), and I hear "How are you doing?" And I look up, and it's him, smiling, and I say "Hey, I'm doing great!" and I keep shopping.

And in the back of my head I'm thinking "Hey, I'm the dude who called the cops on you that night."

Then there's my next door neighbor. He's kinda old. He's got this white mustache that's kinda waxed on the ends, so he looks like a barbershop quartet singer. Except that once in a blue moon, he'll come home late at night (like at 1am, and I'm still awake), and he's drunk and yelling at no one in particular. But boy, is he mad. He'll just talk real loud and swear. "Those motherfuckers!" and "God dammit!" Over and over again, slamming drawers and shit. I guess if I was braver, I would knock at his door and oh so politely ask him to keep it down, but shit, he's drunk. I mean, he may be old, but he may have a gun, right?

I guess I could do that, though. I mean, him being old and drunk, I think I could out-maneuver him. You know, duck and slip, put him in a figure four leg lock? You know?

QUIZ RESULTS
So far, Alfie E. is winning the pop quiz for the readers, mostly by default. You gonna let her win?